We return to Mark 6 this week for one last look at this passage. In week one, we considered the disciples’ time in the boat. In week two, we looked at how God orchestrates every detail, down to empty baskets being in the right place, at the right time. This week we conclude by looking at how Jesus concluded this enormous miracle – He sent everyone away and went to the wilderness to be with His Father.
To remember the events leading up to Jesus’ time in the wilderness – He commissioned the 12 to go do ministry in pairs, Mark 6:7-13. They cast out demons, preached repentance, and healed the sick. When they returned to Jesus, they were still so busy they did not have time to eat, Mark 6:30-31. When they tried to get away to the wilderness to rest, they were met with crowds of needy people who Jesus fed miraculously, Mark 6:32-44.
Hot on the heels of performing miracles themselves, and then witnessing one of Jesus’ largest miracles, Jesus sends the disciples ahead of him in a boat while he heads up the mountain to pray, Mark 6:45-46.
I cannot truly imagine how Jesus and the disciples felt on that evening – I only know how I feel at the end of VBS Sunday. After months of preparations, a 50-60 hour work week of VBS, hundreds of children reached, dozens of children making professions of faith, whole families hearing the Gospel on Sunday morning – I am completely spent, incredibly grateful for all that God has done, and profoundly in need of rest and rejuvenation! And yet all that, I’m sure, does not hold a candle to what Jesus and the disciples felt after their whirlwind of ministry!
If Jesus pulled away from everything – even the good thing of teaching and ministering to his closest 12 disciples – to spend focused time in prayer with his Father, how much more do we need intentional time alone with the Father?
Moms in ministry are pulled in every imaginable direction – from the endless needs of our own kids and families, to the endless needs of ministry to the kids and families at our church. Prioritizing time with Father – even if it means foregoing other good things – is not a luxury, it is a necessity. The perfect, holy Son got away to be one-on-one with the Father. We are not stronger, better equipped, or less in need of prayer than Jesus himself!
Motherhood & Ministry is a weekly post on Monday mornings to encourage moms who serve in vocational ministry while also serving their families.
Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia discuss unexpected circumstances and biblical encouragement.
The preteen and teen years are often stormy and difficult for both kids and adults to navigate. At this age, children are faced with rapid physical changes, big questions, and decisions about the person they will become. To help teens navigate this season well, a basic understanding of child development can help adults know what to expect, the behaviors and thought processes which are developmentally appropriate, and how to come alongside teens as they mature.
Preteens
The preteen years include ages 10 – 12. These years often herald the start of adolescence with the onset of puberty, as well as many other social and emotional changes. In addition to a myriad of physical changes, puberty also begins a second major season of synaptic pruning in the life of a child, the first being in the toddler/preschool years.
In the process of synaptic pruning, the brain hones and refines itself for adulthood. Neural connections that are used most often are strengthened with a myelin sheath to make them faster and more efficient. Neural connections which are weaker or infrequently used are pruned away to conserve energy and resources.
The rapid physical growth and enormous amount of brain development happening in the preteen and teen years result in children needing 8 – 10 hours of sleep a night. In the same way that babies and toddlers need a great deal of sleep due to rapid physical growth and explosive brain development, pubescent preteens and teens need a great deal of sleep. Sleep deprivation can negatively affect focus, attention, and mood during these already turbulent years.
Around puberty preteens and teens also become very self-conscious. They may feel as if there is a “spotlight” on their actions and appearance. This is a developmentally normal resurgence of egocentrism, much like egocentrism in the preschool years when children have a difficult time taking the perspective of another person. Preteens have a difficult time taking the perspective of other preteens and understanding that other children are also self-conscious and self-focused. The “spotlight” is primarily in their perception of themselves, but feels very real to preteens and teens.
Socially, preteens face the jarring experience of going from the top rung of the elementary social ladder – as the oldest and coolest in the children’s ministry – back to the bottom rung of the social ladder as the youngest and greenest kids in the student ministry. The transition from children’s to student ministry can be awkward or uncomfortable, but there are a number of ways children’s and student ministries can partner together to encourage a smooth transition for preteens.
One way to help preteens transition into the student ministry is to help familiarize them with volunteers in the student ministry, the spaces of student ministry, and the routines of student ministry. One example is for the oldest elementary age group to have VBS take place in the student ministry spaces, with volunteers who typically serve in the student ministry. Preteens become familiar with the classrooms and begin building relationships with the adults who will be leading them once they move up to the student ministry. The student ministry can also host an orientation or open house to create familiarity. Creating intentional opportunities for crossover into the student ministry world, and building relationships in advance can go a long way in alleviating fears of the unknown and helping preteens transition into the student ministry.
Teens
The process of synaptic pruning continues through the teen years, and is guided by the habits and environment of the child. This is one reason that addiction in the teenage years is especially pernicious, whether it be drug use, pornography, or anything else. These habits and environmental input shape the brain during an especially sensitive and moldable period. The good news is that our brains remain “plastic” throughout our lives. We are able to “rewire” our neural connections through the formation of new habits. Practicing spiritual disciplines and cultivating a renewed mind actually rewires our brains!
The brain also matures back to front and bottom to top. The cerebellum in the back, lower portion of the brain controls movement, balance, and motor functions. In the midbrain, the limbic system processes emotions. The very front of the brain, right behind the forehead and eyes, is the prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain that controls reasoning, decision making, and complex thought. The prefrontal cortex isn’t mature until the mid-twenties.
This is why a teen can be a phenomenal athlete, who also makes poor choices that cost him an athletic scholarship. A teen can have highly developed motor skills, making him a great athlete, while also lacking a mature prefrontal cortex to assist with rational decision making. Teens can also seem moody and irrationally ruled by their emotions. Their limbic system processes complex emotions without the help of a mature prefrontal cortex to temper those emotions with rational thought and evaluation.
Teens, though, experience a natural desire for increased independence, and can often be challenged with increased responsibility as a result. Teens who are engaged and invested in the life of the church can be brought on as assistant leaders and helpers in many areas. They can serve alongside adults and be entrusted with responsibility while also being mentored and trained by seasoned leaders. Recruiting teens to serve with children, play in a praise band, serve with the technology team, or other opportunities not only helps mature and develop teens, but also strengthens and edifies the church.
The teen years are also a time when young people begin to question their beliefs, who they will become, and whether they will “own” or abandon their faith. Teens need support in grappling with hard questions of what is true; scripture or other religious or secular alternatives? What is good; is following a biblical life really what’s best for me? And what the future holds for them personally; faith in Jesus or some other path?
The greatest gift we can give teens is to come alongside them in this season, walk with them as they grapple with big questions, and invest in them to enter into adulthood with a firm understanding of not only what they believe but why they believe it. We have the awesome opportunity to develop teens into leaders and watch them grow into all that God created them to be. The teen years can be challenging, but they can also be fruitful for the Kingdom!
“I’m just pulling your leg,” I told a six year old girl after joking with her one night at church. She looked down at her leg, looked up at me, and exclaimed, “No you’re not!?”
This funny little moment coincided with one of my first classes on child development, and I’ll never forget this real life illustration of the thinking of small children. It’s easy as adults to forget how we thought as children, and the ways our thought processes have changed over time. Children view the world and process information very differently than adults, and a basic knowledge of child development can assist ministry leaders in effectively teaching and ministering to children.
Elementary Ages 5 – 10
Young children are very concrete and literal in their thinking – as the above example of the six year old little girl illustrates. Early elementary children often are unable to fully understand abstract concepts such as sarcasm, metaphors, and hypothetical scenarios. Abstract thinking is often limited to actions or characteristics. For example, “honesty” means telling the truth, even if I’ll get in trouble. “Love” is how Jesus died for me, even though I disobey Him. “Kindness” is letting someone else use a toy first, even though I want to play with it too.
During childhood, children also develop the cognitive trait of reversibility – the ability to “think back” and remember past events sequentially. A child can retrace his steps in an attempt to locate a lost toy, but he cannot yet think “forward” through hypothetical scenarios or draw conclusions about the outcomes of future events.
Oftentimes it can be easy to think a child should “know better,” because the outcomes of certain actions or decisions seem obvious to us as adults. However, we may need to take a step back and remember that kids are still learning many different social, cognitive, and life skills. While we provide consistent and caring correction, we also must remember that sometimes kids really don’t know better yet. Part of our job is to teach them!
Elementary age children are also developing the cognitive ability of decentration, the ability to consider more than one attribute of an object or person at time. For example, a child begins to understand that her aunt is also her mother’s sister, or understand that God is both a loving Father and a perfect Judge. God cannot overlook disobedience, but He also loves us, and Jesus died willingly for our sins.
Children are also developing the cognitive skill of seriation, which is the ability to put things in a logical order or sequence. For example, putting a series of events in sequential order or lining up similar objects smallest to largest. The Gospel itself can be understood as a logical order or sequence. God created everything and made good rules; humans disobey God; sin separates us from God; Jesus came to earth as fully God and fully human to be our Savior; and we can turn to Him for forgiveness of our sins and begin a relationship with God. Is it any surprise that in the elementary years we see the Gospel beginning to “click” with kids, as they ask insightful questions and express a desire to follow Jesus as their Lord and Savior?
Elementary age children also have a natural desire to set and achieve goals. Every kid wants a way to shine and feel a sense of accomplishment. Recognizing achievement, hard work, and intrinsic traits can help kids feel valued and seen. It is important to acknowledge both a child’s natural giftings and her efforts, even if the outcomes of her efforts aren’t always as smooth or immediate as she would like. Recognizing dedication and determination in the face of difficulties helps kids build resilience as they work toward goals.
Children’s attention spans can be calculated at one minute per year of life. As we teach elementary age children, we need to structure lessons in 5 – 10 minute increments. Keeping lessons engaging through active and interactive learning techniques, teaching to a variety of learning styles, and providing hands-on learning opportunities are vital to teaching elementary age children well. We also need to clarify our classroom expectations and repeat them often, if not weekly. Children need clear, simple guidelines for behavior, which are repeated often, and consistently followed.
During the elementary years children develop and grow in many wonderful ways. Adults have the opportunity to lay a foundation of faith that stands the test of time in the life of a child. Understanding how children think, grow, and develop can help children’s ministry leaders more effectively reach and minister to children at all stages of development.
KidMin with Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia 