We have already looked in Exodus 17 about the grumbling of the people against Moses. We too will face grumbling, and must respond in prayer. Continuing in Exodus 17, we see how prayer, active obedience, and leadership come together to bring about victory in the Lord.
While out in the wilderness, Amalek came to fight against the people of Israel. We see Moses turning to Joshua to select men to fight, while Moses would intercede for the Israelites. It is noteworthy that long before we see Joshua succeeding Moses and leading the Israelites into the Promised Land, we first see a track record of faithfulness and obedience leading up to his calling to shepherd all of Israel.
As Joshua was faithful to fight Amalek, Moses went to the top of the hill to lift his hands to the Lord. As long as Moses’ hands remained aloft, the Israelites prevailed in battle, but when Moses lowered his hands, Amalek prevailed. Aaron and Hur faithfully came alongside Moses. They gave him a stone to rest on, and as his hands grew heavy, they each took one side and physically supported Moses’ hands to remain steadily raised.
Moses, with the help of Aaron and Hur, raised his hands up to the Lord until the sun went down. After what was no doubt a long day, Amalek was defeated and Israel prevailed. Moses’ hands held true because of the support of faithful leaders around him.
Leadership is not a solo act – as Moses needed the support of Aaron and Hur and the leadership of Joshua on the battlefield – so do we need the support and leadership of faithful servants of the Lord. We see front-line obedience from Joshua to physically fight the war, while we see behind the scenes obedience of Moses to raise his hands to the Lord, as well as the key support of Aaron and Hur.
In this passage we see both faithfulness in prayer and active obedience working in conjunction to experience victory from the Lord. Every believer has a role to play in the body of Christ – some are on front-lines like Joshua, some are leaders like Moses contending in prayer while holding enormous responsibility, and some are like Aaron and Hur playing key roles of support and encouragement.
For our ministries today to experience victory, we cannot try to do it alone. We must intentionally and prayerfully seek out the people the Lord calls to come alongside us to lend strength and leadership for the ministry. Do you have a Joshua who you are inviting into strategic leadership roles? A key leader who is growing in ministry experience and responsibility? Do you have an Aaron or Hur with whom you are honest about your struggles and weaknesses? Someone to encourage you and hold you accountable?
Join our wonderful conversation about identifying, recruiting, and empowering key leaders. There are practical steps you can take to find the Joshua’s, Aaron’s, and Hur’s for your ministry!
Motherhood & Ministry is a weekly post on Monday mornings to encourage moms who serve in vocational ministry while also serving their families.
Discipline and discipleship are nearby branches springing from the same linguistic tree. They both trace roots back to the Latin word discipulus, meaning pupil. Effective discipline, then, instructs and gives our students greater understanding of norms, expectations, and appropriate behavior.
Behavior issues among children attending church seem to be at fever-pitch. The upheaval and isolation of the COVID pandemic interrupted more than just the academic learning of millions of children, it profoundly affected social and emotional learning as well. We have seen increases in child abuse and childhood diagnosis of depression as a result of the pandemic circumstances. The kids are not alright, and we see the evidence in their behavior.
How then, are we to respond to difficult behaviors of children in our churches in a way that is instructive and loving?
No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. – Hebrews 12:11
Our discipline in church must not be punitive; it must foremost be instructive. Jesus took all our punishment on the cross, and now the discipline that the Father enacts in our lives is for our training and the development of righteousness. Our goal in church is not to punish but to teach. We seek to foremost disciple children in the Gospel, even through our correction.
In our two-part podcast episodes on classroom management, we lay out foundational principles of classroom management to set kids up for success. We also address more difficult behaviors, including resources for constructively ministering to big behaviors, as well as tackling more controversial topics like reward systems.
It is common knowledge that having a mentor is valuable, and in turn being a mentor to others is a responsibility of leadership, but the perennial question remains – HOW to find a mentor or begin a mentoring relationship? Ministry can be difficult, and building relationships with other leaders to share experiences and encouragement can be the difference between longevity in ministry or burnout.
Conferences and events can be great places to make new professional connections and begin new relationships. However, networking and relationship building isn’t limited to physical, in-person gatherings. Networking can also take place online through social media groups, discussion boards, online cohorts, and other online areas where people gather to share and ask questions about a particular topic.
When you come across someone new, interesting, or with whom you would like to build a relationship, you can start by striking up a conversation at an in person event, or contacting them online. The fear of rejection is real though! Striking up a conversation about the topic at hand can be a great way to start.
When in-person networking, it’s important to be mindful of people’s time, the schedule of the event, and be observant of normal social cues. We don’t want to monopolize anyone’s time, but a quick introductory conversation is typically appropriate and welcomed. You can always offer to exchange contact information to continue the conversation later.
The most important key is to not be afraid to reach out, and begin the conversation! In our podcast episode I share an example from my own life when a conversation at a conference led to a great friendship and years of encouragement!
Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia discuss networking, mentors, and building new relationships in ministry.
The preteen and teen years are often stormy and difficult for both kids and adults to navigate. At this age, children are faced with rapid physical changes, big questions, and decisions about the person they will become. To help teens navigate this season well, a basic understanding of child development can help adults know what to expect, the behaviors and thought processes which are developmentally appropriate, and how to come alongside teens as they mature.
Preteens
The preteen years include ages 10 – 12. These years often herald the start of adolescence with the onset of puberty, as well as many other social and emotional changes. In addition to a myriad of physical changes, puberty also begins a second major season of synaptic pruning in the life of a child, the first being in the toddler/preschool years.
In the process of synaptic pruning, the brain hones and refines itself for adulthood. Neural connections that are used most often are strengthened with a myelin sheath to make them faster and more efficient. Neural connections which are weaker or infrequently used are pruned away to conserve energy and resources.
The rapid physical growth and enormous amount of brain development happening in the preteen and teen years result in children needing 8 – 10 hours of sleep a night. In the same way that babies and toddlers need a great deal of sleep due to rapid physical growth and explosive brain development, pubescent preteens and teens need a great deal of sleep. Sleep deprivation can negatively affect focus, attention, and mood during these already turbulent years.
Around puberty preteens and teens also become very self-conscious. They may feel as if there is a “spotlight” on their actions and appearance. This is a developmentally normal resurgence of egocentrism, much like egocentrism in the preschool years when children have a difficult time taking the perspective of another person. Preteens have a difficult time taking the perspective of other preteens and understanding that other children are also self-conscious and self-focused. The “spotlight” is primarily in their perception of themselves, but feels very real to preteens and teens.
Socially, preteens face the jarring experience of going from the top rung of the elementary social ladder – as the oldest and coolest in the children’s ministry – back to the bottom rung of the social ladder as the youngest and greenest kids in the student ministry. The transition from children’s to student ministry can be awkward or uncomfortable, but there are a number of ways children’s and student ministries can partner together to encourage a smooth transition for preteens.
One way to help preteens transition into the student ministry is to help familiarize them with volunteers in the student ministry, the spaces of student ministry, and the routines of student ministry. One example is for the oldest elementary age group to have VBS take place in the student ministry spaces, with volunteers who typically serve in the student ministry. Preteens become familiar with the classrooms and begin building relationships with the adults who will be leading them once they move up to the student ministry. The student ministry can also host an orientation or open house to create familiarity. Creating intentional opportunities for crossover into the student ministry world, and building relationships in advance can go a long way in alleviating fears of the unknown and helping preteens transition into the student ministry.
Teens
The process of synaptic pruning continues through the teen years, and is guided by the habits and environment of the child. This is one reason that addiction in the teenage years is especially pernicious, whether it be drug use, pornography, or anything else. These habits and environmental input shape the brain during an especially sensitive and moldable period. The good news is that our brains remain “plastic” throughout our lives. We are able to “rewire” our neural connections through the formation of new habits. Practicing spiritual disciplines and cultivating a renewed mind actually rewires our brains!
The brain also matures back to front and bottom to top. The cerebellum in the back, lower portion of the brain controls movement, balance, and motor functions. In the midbrain, the limbic system processes emotions. The very front of the brain, right behind the forehead and eyes, is the prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain that controls reasoning, decision making, and complex thought. The prefrontal cortex isn’t mature until the mid-twenties.
This is why a teen can be a phenomenal athlete, who also makes poor choices that cost him an athletic scholarship. A teen can have highly developed motor skills, making him a great athlete, while also lacking a mature prefrontal cortex to assist with rational decision making. Teens can also seem moody and irrationally ruled by their emotions. Their limbic system processes complex emotions without the help of a mature prefrontal cortex to temper those emotions with rational thought and evaluation.
Teens, though, experience a natural desire for increased independence, and can often be challenged with increased responsibility as a result. Teens who are engaged and invested in the life of the church can be brought on as assistant leaders and helpers in many areas. They can serve alongside adults and be entrusted with responsibility while also being mentored and trained by seasoned leaders. Recruiting teens to serve with children, play in a praise band, serve with the technology team, or other opportunities not only helps mature and develop teens, but also strengthens and edifies the church.
The teen years are also a time when young people begin to question their beliefs, who they will become, and whether they will “own” or abandon their faith. Teens need support in grappling with hard questions of what is true; scripture or other religious or secular alternatives? What is good; is following a biblical life really what’s best for me? And what the future holds for them personally; faith in Jesus or some other path?
The greatest gift we can give teens is to come alongside them in this season, walk with them as they grapple with big questions, and invest in them to enter into adulthood with a firm understanding of not only what they believe but why they believe it. We have the awesome opportunity to develop teens into leaders and watch them grow into all that God created them to be. The teen years can be challenging, but they can also be fruitful for the Kingdom!
“I’m just pulling your leg,” I told a six year old girl after joking with her one night at church. She looked down at her leg, looked up at me, and exclaimed, “No you’re not!?”
This funny little moment coincided with one of my first classes on child development, and I’ll never forget this real life illustration of the thinking of small children. It’s easy as adults to forget how we thought as children, and the ways our thought processes have changed over time. Children view the world and process information very differently than adults, and a basic knowledge of child development can assist ministry leaders in effectively teaching and ministering to children.
Elementary Ages 5 – 10
Young children are very concrete and literal in their thinking – as the above example of the six year old little girl illustrates. Early elementary children often are unable to fully understand abstract concepts such as sarcasm, metaphors, and hypothetical scenarios. Abstract thinking is often limited to actions or characteristics. For example, “honesty” means telling the truth, even if I’ll get in trouble. “Love” is how Jesus died for me, even though I disobey Him. “Kindness” is letting someone else use a toy first, even though I want to play with it too.
During childhood, children also develop the cognitive trait of reversibility – the ability to “think back” and remember past events sequentially. A child can retrace his steps in an attempt to locate a lost toy, but he cannot yet think “forward” through hypothetical scenarios or draw conclusions about the outcomes of future events.
Oftentimes it can be easy to think a child should “know better,” because the outcomes of certain actions or decisions seem obvious to us as adults. However, we may need to take a step back and remember that kids are still learning many different social, cognitive, and life skills. While we provide consistent and caring correction, we also must remember that sometimes kids really don’t know better yet. Part of our job is to teach them!
Elementary age children are also developing the cognitive ability of decentration, the ability to consider more than one attribute of an object or person at time. For example, a child begins to understand that her aunt is also her mother’s sister, or understand that God is both a loving Father and a perfect Judge. God cannot overlook disobedience, but He also loves us, and Jesus died willingly for our sins.
Children are also developing the cognitive skill of seriation, which is the ability to put things in a logical order or sequence. For example, putting a series of events in sequential order or lining up similar objects smallest to largest. The Gospel itself can be understood as a logical order or sequence. God created everything and made good rules; humans disobey God; sin separates us from God; Jesus came to earth as fully God and fully human to be our Savior; and we can turn to Him for forgiveness of our sins and begin a relationship with God. Is it any surprise that in the elementary years we see the Gospel beginning to “click” with kids, as they ask insightful questions and express a desire to follow Jesus as their Lord and Savior?
Elementary age children also have a natural desire to set and achieve goals. Every kid wants a way to shine and feel a sense of accomplishment. Recognizing achievement, hard work, and intrinsic traits can help kids feel valued and seen. It is important to acknowledge both a child’s natural giftings and her efforts, even if the outcomes of her efforts aren’t always as smooth or immediate as she would like. Recognizing dedication and determination in the face of difficulties helps kids build resilience as they work toward goals.
Children’s attention spans can be calculated at one minute per year of life. As we teach elementary age children, we need to structure lessons in 5 – 10 minute increments. Keeping lessons engaging through active and interactive learning techniques, teaching to a variety of learning styles, and providing hands-on learning opportunities are vital to teaching elementary age children well. We also need to clarify our classroom expectations and repeat them often, if not weekly. Children need clear, simple guidelines for behavior, which are repeated often, and consistently followed.
During the elementary years children develop and grow in many wonderful ways. Adults have the opportunity to lay a foundation of faith that stands the test of time in the life of a child. Understanding how children think, grow, and develop can help children’s ministry leaders more effectively reach and minister to children at all stages of development.
In many churches, leaders and volunteers have a desire to “teach kids on their level,” but sometimes need practical ideas for laying a foundation of faith at every age. How do we begin supporting children’s faith development in infancy and continue that commitment all the way through the teen years and into young adulthood? Outlined here are some practical steps for churches and families to effectively minister to children at each step of development.
An important note about child development is that each child matures at his or her own pace and timing. There is a broad spectrum of emotional, cognitive, and social abilities that all fall within the scope of typical child development. The ages and characteristics outlined below represent a general guideline, versus a rigid timetable.
Infancy 0-1 years
Babies first begin to learn about the love of God through loving caregivers who meet their needs and provide comfort. An infant whose needs are met with love and care develops a sense of hope and trust in caregivers and the world around them. This lays a foundation for later understanding the love and trustworthiness of God.
As ministry leaders, we want our church nurseries to be welcoming environments for babies, where needs are consistently met with comfort and tenderness. We have the opportunity from birth to foster a love for God and His people through our church nurseries. In infancy we begin communicating that the family of God is one of love and care.
As ministry leaders, we can encourage babies class volunteers to sing hymns, recite scripture, and pray over babies each Sunday. It can be helpful to place a weekly or monthly verse over the changing table with a related prayer prompt to remind volunteers to pray for children and families. Bible story picture books are a great way to introduce Bible truths and communicate love and care to babies as they are read to and held.
Toddler 1-2 years
The toddler years are a time of developmental leaps, increasing independence, and BIG emotions! But they are also a wonderful opportunity to introduce simple biblical concepts, favorite Bible stories, and scripture memorization.
Toddlers have a growing desire for independence and love opportunities to try their hand at new, developmentally appropriate tasks. Activities like sticking stickers, digging toys related to the Bible story out of a bucket of sand or dry rice, using paint daubers for a craft, and squishing playdough are all ways toddlers can gain developmentally appropriate independence through new and fun activities.
Toddlers also learn through repetition and consistency. Singing the same children’s Bible songs from week to week may seem boring to adults, but toddlers thrive on predictability and repetition. A simple class schedule that remains consistent week-to-week also creates a sense of security. Knowing that first is song time, then snack, then Bible story time, etc. helps toddlers transition from one activity to the next more smoothly.
Toddlers, and all young children, have a difficult time taking the perspective of another person. Small children can only see from their own point of view, which is one of the many reasons why sharing and taking turns is hard. Toddlers need consistent reminders of rules and expectations. Learning obedience to external rules lays a foundation for later understanding God as the ultimate Ruler who deserves our obedience.
Toddlers also see explosive growth in vocabulary and language acquisition. If a child can talk, he or she can memorize scripture, especially scripture that is set to music. Helping children hide God’s Word in their heart from a young age is a gift that will stand the test of time. We can also focus on teaching basic biblical concepts, such as “God made you,” “God made sun/flowers/clouds/etc.” and “God loves you very much!” Giving toddlers the opportunity to pray out loud teaches them that they are welcome to participate in the spiritual life of their church or family.
As a parent of twin toddlers, I have delighted in seeing these concepts unfold in the lives of my own children. Our two and half year old daughter has requested the story of David and Goliath every night at bedtime for weeks on end. Her twin brother opened an empty Easter egg and exclaimed, “There’s no Jesus in there! This tomb’s empty!” While flipping through the pages of her picture Bible, our daughter said, “God made zebras and Moses and people and clouds and city…”
We cannot underestimate the depth and breadth of biblical knowledge toddlers can acquire. We need not wait to begin teaching them key biblical truths, favorite Bible passages, and scripture memory.
Preschool 3-5 years
The first three years of life see numerous developmental milestones. Tiny babies turn into walking, talking small people with big personalities and strong opinions! The first three years of life are also characterized by explosive brain development. In a process called synaptic pruning children’s brains are honed and refined as lesser used neural pathways are pruned away. Simultaneously, children also develop and strengthen new neural pathways as they learn and gain new skills. All of these changes in the brain are shaped by the experiences and the environment of the child. Christians have an opportunity to create an environment in early childhood that is marked by love of Christ and focus on His Word.
Preschoolers often have difficulty distinguishing between reality and fiction. Beloved cartoon characters may seem as real as Jesus or Moses. Adults can lay a foundation that while fictitious characters are just pretend, Jesus and other Bible figures are real people, who really lived long ago. Every time I teach preschoolers – or really children of any age – I always hold up my Bible and say, “This is the Bible. This is God’s Holy Word for us. Everything in it is true and we can trust it.”
Preschoolers continue to need increased independence and autonomy. We can support this need in the classroom by giving preschoolers options of different activities in various stations or centers around the room. For example, in a lesson on Jesus feeding the 5,000, preschoolers could choose between assembling puzzles of fish, making a pretend meal of toy fish and bread in the home living center, or a craft of weaving paper to look like a basket and gluing paper fish and bread on top. We can also encourage independence by giving preschoolers small jobs in the classroom. Each week, one child can hand out boxes of crayons, while another picks them up at the end of the coloring time; one child is the line leader, and another is the caboose; etc.
Preschoolers also learn best through activity, play, and movement. Attention spans can be calculated at about one minute per year of life, and teachers need to plan ways for preschoolers to move and stay active every 3 – 5 minutes. Hand motions, songs, review games, and activities are all great ways to keep teaching time active and engaging for preschoolers.
Most preschoolers cannot read yet, and using pictures and symbols to accompany Bible teaching can help children focus. Preschoolers can continue memorizing scripture, and begin learning other Bible skills, such as memorizing the books of the Bible in song. Teachers can also build on previous biblical concepts as preschoolers mature, “God loves you” can become “God loves you, and wants you to love others too.”
Early childhood is a precious time to give a child a firm foundation in God’s Word. The first five years of life are a time of unparalleled growth and development. As believers, we have the wonderful opportunity to make a Kingdom impact in the life of a child beginning in infancy.
KidMin with Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia 