Join Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia as they share tips, ideas, and encouragement for Children’s Ministry!
Author: Dr. Virginia Brennan
Virginia loves equipping Preschool and Children's Ministry leaders for greater effectiveness in the Kingdom. She serves on staff in local church ministry, as well as podcasting with Dr. Val. You can find her, along with her husband and preschool twins, at the zoo or on a nature trail. Self-avowed foodie, she will try just about any food once and loves exploring new cuisine!
Moms everywhere experience the feeling that there is never an opportunity for solitude, down time, or quiet. Especially being a mom in vocational ministry – not only do the needs of caring for a busy family never stop, but the needs of an active and effective ministry never stop either!
Thankfully, we can look to the life and ministry of Jesus. His ministry, time, and availability were in demand beyond what we could ever imagine, and through His example we can gain guidance for our own lives.
In Mark 6, we see Jesus commissioning the 12 disciples to do ministry. They preached a message of repentance, drove out demons, and healed sick people. They sound pretty busy!
In Mark 6:30 we see them gather back to Jesus to report all they had done and taught. Jesus identified their need for rest and invited them to retreat to the wilderness. Verse 31 specifies that they were so busy, there was not even time to eat!? (Can I get an Amen for all the leaders who have thrown down a handful of goldfish and called it a meal on busy days!?)
Jesus and the disciples traveled by boat to a remote place, but the crowds saw them and ran ahead to meet them at the shore. Mark 6:34 says, “When he [Jesus] went ashore, he saw a large crowd and had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. Then he began to teach them many things.” How often have I set aside time to spend in Bible study, prayer, reflection, and solitude, only to have those plans magnificently interrupted?
I get up at the crack of dawn to read my Bible, only to be joined by a toddler who is *also* up at the crack of dawn. I decide to spend a lunch break walking and praying on a beautiful day, only to have a time-sensitive need pop up, and then work through lunch instead. I plan to attend a retreat or conference, only to have my plans derailed by a sick child or an unforeseen change.
The disciples did not get their anticipated rest and solitude in the wilderness – but they did get a boat ride alone with Jesus. Sometimes our best laid plans for rest and solitude are derailed, and the “time in the boat” is the only time we get with Jesus that day.
Making the most of my “time in the boat” could look like continuing my quiet time, with a toddler on my lap. It could look like my shower, commute, or wait in the school pick up line becoming a time of intentional and focused prayer. It could look like finding a quiet place to pray in solitude for just 5 minutes out of a busy work day.
Sometimes we make it to the wilderness only to be met with more pressing needs. Let us not stop seeking alone time with the Lord, but may we also make good use of our time in the boat.
Motherhood & Ministry is a weekly post on Monday mornings to encourage moms who serve in vocational ministry while also serving their families.
Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia talk burnout, as well as personal and organizational strategies to avoid it!
A volunteer approached the welcome desk and said, “A child just said they’re getting a brother.”
I start to think, “Oh here we go again, we’re finding out about a pregnancy that’s not public yet!”
The volunteer goes on to explain that the child declared that their sister was becoming a boy, and they would soon have a brother.
I knew I loved Breaker Rock Beach from the moment that I read each day’s theme; how we are tackling the lies of the world with God’s truth in VBS this year. Each day of VBS we start with what the world says, and address it with scriptural truth. I did not anticipate that I would shortly get a poignant reminder of why this year’s VBS is so timely and so valuable.
Kids today are being inundated with half-truths and lies that tickle the ears, but they need the eternal truth of God’s Word to sink deeply and take root in their hearts. One look at Breaker Rock Beach, and it’s evident that this isn’t the VBS I grew up with – and I praise God for that! It is the VBS that kids need for today!
The Lord has reminded me recently that when circumstances feel overwhelming, often the first step is simply to be faithful in the small things. When the “big” things are out of our hands, simply being faithful in the “small” things can often add up to big changes! Demonstrating faithfulness over “a little” shows a character that can be entrusted with “much,” Matt 25:23.
I also reflect on Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet as a student and listened to all Jesus had to say. Martha bustled around with “many tasks” – no doubt good, necessary tasks of hosting a crowd of Jesus’ followers. Martha was “worried and upset” over Mary’s lack of assistance with household duties.
I can see myself in Martha – she means so well – but what Martha (and sometimes I) miss is that she was serving the God of the universe. He put the stars into motion and raised up the mountains. He filled the depths of the oceans with creatures and made birds to soar through the sky. He is God in the flesh come down to earth to be the yes and amen to all God’s promises.
This King of the universe in her living room also multiplied one boy’s small lunch into a feast to feed over 5,000 people. Martha did not need to run herself ragged in service to the King of the Universe. He calls her – and us – to know Him, love Him, and follow Him in faithfulness.
Are you doing the “small thing” of spending time at His feet, in His Word daily? It is the best portion. Are you doing the “small thing” of praying for yourself, your family, and your ministry daily and with intentionality? Are you doing the “small thing” of spending time in worship privately and corporately?
Be faithful in the small things. Trust God with the big things.
Protecting Spiritual Growth – Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia discuss the necessity of prioritizing our spiritual growth while serving in ministry.
“Lord, am I in the right place?” Every ministry leader likely asks this question at some point in their ministry. It can feel daunting to discern the times and seasons for continuing in a ministry assignment or preparing to move on to the next one. It can be tempting to think, “I wouldn’t mind my own burning bush right now, telling me exactly where to go and what to do!”
In Joshua 1:1-9, Joshua is preparing to go. He would finally lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. Moses is dead and Joshua is embarking on this totally new journey without his mentor. I can only imagine that I would feel pretty intimidated under these circumstances!
Three times God tells Joshua to “be strong and courageous.” He also instructs Joshua to carefully follow everything Moses taught, and to meditate on God’s Word day and night. Knowing God’s Word, following God’s Word, and having it deeply embedded in his heart was Joshua’s key to leading the Israelites to success in the Promised Land.
Joshua was called to go and lead through a season of great transition and change. Sometimes we are called to stay and plant deep roots of lasting ministry impact. We all likely know ministry leaders of great longevity and influence. Pastors who have served a single congregation for 20, 30, or even more years! What a testimony to the faithfulness of God, displayed in the faithfulness and obedience of His child.
How happy is the one who does not
walk in the advice of the wicked
or stand in the pathway with sinners
or sit in the company of mockers!
Instead, his delight is in the Lord’s instruction,
and he meditates on it day and night.
He is like a tree planted beside flowing streams
that bears its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
Psalm 1:1-3
No matter how our circumstances may change or how long we may be called to a particular ministry assignment, we can be like a tree planted beside flowing streams, growing deep roots into God’s Word. We can delight in His truth and meditate on Scripture continually. He will nourish our souls and produce fruit in our lives through the outworking of the Holy Spirit. God will supply all we need to continue in faithfulness and obedience, walking with Him one step at a time.
The preteen and teen years are often stormy and difficult for both kids and adults to navigate. At this age, children are faced with rapid physical changes, big questions, and decisions about the person they will become. To help teens navigate this season well, a basic understanding of child development can help adults know what to expect, the behaviors and thought processes which are developmentally appropriate, and how to come alongside teens as they mature.
Preteens
The preteen years include ages 10 – 12. These years often herald the start of adolescence with the onset of puberty, as well as many other social and emotional changes. In addition to a myriad of physical changes, puberty also begins a second major season of synaptic pruning in the life of a child, the first being in the toddler/preschool years.
In the process of synaptic pruning, the brain hones and refines itself for adulthood. Neural connections that are used most often are strengthened with a myelin sheath to make them faster and more efficient. Neural connections which are weaker or infrequently used are pruned away to conserve energy and resources.
The rapid physical growth and enormous amount of brain development happening in the preteen and teen years result in children needing 8 – 10 hours of sleep a night. In the same way that babies and toddlers need a great deal of sleep due to rapid physical growth and explosive brain development, pubescent preteens and teens need a great deal of sleep. Sleep deprivation can negatively affect focus, attention, and mood during these already turbulent years.
Around puberty preteens and teens also become very self-conscious. They may feel as if there is a “spotlight” on their actions and appearance. This is a developmentally normal resurgence of egocentrism, much like egocentrism in the preschool years when children have a difficult time taking the perspective of another person. Preteens have a difficult time taking the perspective of other preteens and understanding that other children are also self-conscious and self-focused. The “spotlight” is primarily in their perception of themselves, but feels very real to preteens and teens.
Socially, preteens face the jarring experience of going from the top rung of the elementary social ladder – as the oldest and coolest in the children’s ministry – back to the bottom rung of the social ladder as the youngest and greenest kids in the student ministry. The transition from children’s to student ministry can be awkward or uncomfortable, but there are a number of ways children’s and student ministries can partner together to encourage a smooth transition for preteens.
One way to help preteens transition into the student ministry is to help familiarize them with volunteers in the student ministry, the spaces of student ministry, and the routines of student ministry. One example is for the oldest elementary age group to have VBS take place in the student ministry spaces, with volunteers who typically serve in the student ministry. Preteens become familiar with the classrooms and begin building relationships with the adults who will be leading them once they move up to the student ministry. The student ministry can also host an orientation or open house to create familiarity. Creating intentional opportunities for crossover into the student ministry world, and building relationships in advance can go a long way in alleviating fears of the unknown and helping preteens transition into the student ministry.
Teens
The process of synaptic pruning continues through the teen years, and is guided by the habits and environment of the child. This is one reason that addiction in the teenage years is especially pernicious, whether it be drug use, pornography, or anything else. These habits and environmental input shape the brain during an especially sensitive and moldable period. The good news is that our brains remain “plastic” throughout our lives. We are able to “rewire” our neural connections through the formation of new habits. Practicing spiritual disciplines and cultivating a renewed mind actually rewires our brains!
The brain also matures back to front and bottom to top. The cerebellum in the back, lower portion of the brain controls movement, balance, and motor functions. In the midbrain, the limbic system processes emotions. The very front of the brain, right behind the forehead and eyes, is the prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain that controls reasoning, decision making, and complex thought. The prefrontal cortex isn’t mature until the mid-twenties.
This is why a teen can be a phenomenal athlete, who also makes poor choices that cost him an athletic scholarship. A teen can have highly developed motor skills, making him a great athlete, while also lacking a mature prefrontal cortex to assist with rational decision making. Teens can also seem moody and irrationally ruled by their emotions. Their limbic system processes complex emotions without the help of a mature prefrontal cortex to temper those emotions with rational thought and evaluation.
Teens, though, experience a natural desire for increased independence, and can often be challenged with increased responsibility as a result. Teens who are engaged and invested in the life of the church can be brought on as assistant leaders and helpers in many areas. They can serve alongside adults and be entrusted with responsibility while also being mentored and trained by seasoned leaders. Recruiting teens to serve with children, play in a praise band, serve with the technology team, or other opportunities not only helps mature and develop teens, but also strengthens and edifies the church.
The teen years are also a time when young people begin to question their beliefs, who they will become, and whether they will “own” or abandon their faith. Teens need support in grappling with hard questions of what is true; scripture or other religious or secular alternatives? What is good; is following a biblical life really what’s best for me? And what the future holds for them personally; faith in Jesus or some other path?
The greatest gift we can give teens is to come alongside them in this season, walk with them as they grapple with big questions, and invest in them to enter into adulthood with a firm understanding of not only what they believe but why they believe it. We have the awesome opportunity to develop teens into leaders and watch them grow into all that God created them to be. The teen years can be challenging, but they can also be fruitful for the Kingdom!
“I’m just pulling your leg,” I told a six year old girl after joking with her one night at church. She looked down at her leg, looked up at me, and exclaimed, “No you’re not!?”
This funny little moment coincided with one of my first classes on child development, and I’ll never forget this real life illustration of the thinking of small children. It’s easy as adults to forget how we thought as children, and the ways our thought processes have changed over time. Children view the world and process information very differently than adults, and a basic knowledge of child development can assist ministry leaders in effectively teaching and ministering to children.
Elementary Ages 5 – 10
Young children are very concrete and literal in their thinking – as the above example of the six year old little girl illustrates. Early elementary children often are unable to fully understand abstract concepts such as sarcasm, metaphors, and hypothetical scenarios. Abstract thinking is often limited to actions or characteristics. For example, “honesty” means telling the truth, even if I’ll get in trouble. “Love” is how Jesus died for me, even though I disobey Him. “Kindness” is letting someone else use a toy first, even though I want to play with it too.
During childhood, children also develop the cognitive trait of reversibility – the ability to “think back” and remember past events sequentially. A child can retrace his steps in an attempt to locate a lost toy, but he cannot yet think “forward” through hypothetical scenarios or draw conclusions about the outcomes of future events.
Oftentimes it can be easy to think a child should “know better,” because the outcomes of certain actions or decisions seem obvious to us as adults. However, we may need to take a step back and remember that kids are still learning many different social, cognitive, and life skills. While we provide consistent and caring correction, we also must remember that sometimes kids really don’t know better yet. Part of our job is to teach them!
Elementary age children are also developing the cognitive ability of decentration, the ability to consider more than one attribute of an object or person at time. For example, a child begins to understand that her aunt is also her mother’s sister, or understand that God is both a loving Father and a perfect Judge. God cannot overlook disobedience, but He also loves us, and Jesus died willingly for our sins.
Children are also developing the cognitive skill of seriation, which is the ability to put things in a logical order or sequence. For example, putting a series of events in sequential order or lining up similar objects smallest to largest. The Gospel itself can be understood as a logical order or sequence. God created everything and made good rules; humans disobey God; sin separates us from God; Jesus came to earth as fully God and fully human to be our Savior; and we can turn to Him for forgiveness of our sins and begin a relationship with God. Is it any surprise that in the elementary years we see the Gospel beginning to “click” with kids, as they ask insightful questions and express a desire to follow Jesus as their Lord and Savior?
Elementary age children also have a natural desire to set and achieve goals. Every kid wants a way to shine and feel a sense of accomplishment. Recognizing achievement, hard work, and intrinsic traits can help kids feel valued and seen. It is important to acknowledge both a child’s natural giftings and her efforts, even if the outcomes of her efforts aren’t always as smooth or immediate as she would like. Recognizing dedication and determination in the face of difficulties helps kids build resilience as they work toward goals.
Children’s attention spans can be calculated at one minute per year of life. As we teach elementary age children, we need to structure lessons in 5 – 10 minute increments. Keeping lessons engaging through active and interactive learning techniques, teaching to a variety of learning styles, and providing hands-on learning opportunities are vital to teaching elementary age children well. We also need to clarify our classroom expectations and repeat them often, if not weekly. Children need clear, simple guidelines for behavior, which are repeated often, and consistently followed.
During the elementary years children develop and grow in many wonderful ways. Adults have the opportunity to lay a foundation of faith that stands the test of time in the life of a child. Understanding how children think, grow, and develop can help children’s ministry leaders more effectively reach and minister to children at all stages of development.
In many churches, leaders and volunteers have a desire to “teach kids on their level,” but sometimes need practical ideas for laying a foundation of faith at every age. How do we begin supporting children’s faith development in infancy and continue that commitment all the way through the teen years and into young adulthood? Outlined here are some practical steps for churches and families to effectively minister to children at each step of development.
An important note about child development is that each child matures at his or her own pace and timing. There is a broad spectrum of emotional, cognitive, and social abilities that all fall within the scope of typical child development. The ages and characteristics outlined below represent a general guideline, versus a rigid timetable.
Infancy 0-1 years
Babies first begin to learn about the love of God through loving caregivers who meet their needs and provide comfort. An infant whose needs are met with love and care develops a sense of hope and trust in caregivers and the world around them. This lays a foundation for later understanding the love and trustworthiness of God.
As ministry leaders, we want our church nurseries to be welcoming environments for babies, where needs are consistently met with comfort and tenderness. We have the opportunity from birth to foster a love for God and His people through our church nurseries. In infancy we begin communicating that the family of God is one of love and care.
As ministry leaders, we can encourage babies class volunteers to sing hymns, recite scripture, and pray over babies each Sunday. It can be helpful to place a weekly or monthly verse over the changing table with a related prayer prompt to remind volunteers to pray for children and families. Bible story picture books are a great way to introduce Bible truths and communicate love and care to babies as they are read to and held.
Toddler 1-2 years
The toddler years are a time of developmental leaps, increasing independence, and BIG emotions! But they are also a wonderful opportunity to introduce simple biblical concepts, favorite Bible stories, and scripture memorization.
Toddlers have a growing desire for independence and love opportunities to try their hand at new, developmentally appropriate tasks. Activities like sticking stickers, digging toys related to the Bible story out of a bucket of sand or dry rice, using paint daubers for a craft, and squishing playdough are all ways toddlers can gain developmentally appropriate independence through new and fun activities.
Toddlers also learn through repetition and consistency. Singing the same children’s Bible songs from week to week may seem boring to adults, but toddlers thrive on predictability and repetition. A simple class schedule that remains consistent week-to-week also creates a sense of security. Knowing that first is song time, then snack, then Bible story time, etc. helps toddlers transition from one activity to the next more smoothly.
Toddlers, and all young children, have a difficult time taking the perspective of another person. Small children can only see from their own point of view, which is one of the many reasons why sharing and taking turns is hard. Toddlers need consistent reminders of rules and expectations. Learning obedience to external rules lays a foundation for later understanding God as the ultimate Ruler who deserves our obedience.
Toddlers also see explosive growth in vocabulary and language acquisition. If a child can talk, he or she can memorize scripture, especially scripture that is set to music. Helping children hide God’s Word in their heart from a young age is a gift that will stand the test of time. We can also focus on teaching basic biblical concepts, such as “God made you,” “God made sun/flowers/clouds/etc.” and “God loves you very much!” Giving toddlers the opportunity to pray out loud teaches them that they are welcome to participate in the spiritual life of their church or family.
As a parent of twin toddlers, I have delighted in seeing these concepts unfold in the lives of my own children. Our two and half year old daughter has requested the story of David and Goliath every night at bedtime for weeks on end. Her twin brother opened an empty Easter egg and exclaimed, “There’s no Jesus in there! This tomb’s empty!” While flipping through the pages of her picture Bible, our daughter said, “God made zebras and Moses and people and clouds and city…”
We cannot underestimate the depth and breadth of biblical knowledge toddlers can acquire. We need not wait to begin teaching them key biblical truths, favorite Bible passages, and scripture memory.
Preschool 3-5 years
The first three years of life see numerous developmental milestones. Tiny babies turn into walking, talking small people with big personalities and strong opinions! The first three years of life are also characterized by explosive brain development. In a process called synaptic pruning children’s brains are honed and refined as lesser used neural pathways are pruned away. Simultaneously, children also develop and strengthen new neural pathways as they learn and gain new skills. All of these changes in the brain are shaped by the experiences and the environment of the child. Christians have an opportunity to create an environment in early childhood that is marked by love of Christ and focus on His Word.
Preschoolers often have difficulty distinguishing between reality and fiction. Beloved cartoon characters may seem as real as Jesus or Moses. Adults can lay a foundation that while fictitious characters are just pretend, Jesus and other Bible figures are real people, who really lived long ago. Every time I teach preschoolers – or really children of any age – I always hold up my Bible and say, “This is the Bible. This is God’s Holy Word for us. Everything in it is true and we can trust it.”
Preschoolers continue to need increased independence and autonomy. We can support this need in the classroom by giving preschoolers options of different activities in various stations or centers around the room. For example, in a lesson on Jesus feeding the 5,000, preschoolers could choose between assembling puzzles of fish, making a pretend meal of toy fish and bread in the home living center, or a craft of weaving paper to look like a basket and gluing paper fish and bread on top. We can also encourage independence by giving preschoolers small jobs in the classroom. Each week, one child can hand out boxes of crayons, while another picks them up at the end of the coloring time; one child is the line leader, and another is the caboose; etc.
Preschoolers also learn best through activity, play, and movement. Attention spans can be calculated at about one minute per year of life, and teachers need to plan ways for preschoolers to move and stay active every 3 – 5 minutes. Hand motions, songs, review games, and activities are all great ways to keep teaching time active and engaging for preschoolers.
Most preschoolers cannot read yet, and using pictures and symbols to accompany Bible teaching can help children focus. Preschoolers can continue memorizing scripture, and begin learning other Bible skills, such as memorizing the books of the Bible in song. Teachers can also build on previous biblical concepts as preschoolers mature, “God loves you” can become “God loves you, and wants you to love others too.”
Early childhood is a precious time to give a child a firm foundation in God’s Word. The first five years of life are a time of unparalleled growth and development. As believers, we have the wonderful opportunity to make a Kingdom impact in the life of a child beginning in infancy.
KidMin with Dr. Val and Dr. Virginia 